We get unhappy now in the belief that our current unhappiness (about our weight or financial challenges or relationship issues or not being enough) will help us make changes so that in the future we will be happy.
1) all unhappiness is fueled by beliefs we adopt/create/empower, and
2) all beliefs can be modified, changed, eradicated, replaced, then
3) rather than use unhappiness as a stepping stone to happiness, we can learn to go directly to our sense of joy, gratitude, and wonder.
If it’s so easy, how come we don’t do it? How come we don’t exchange the beliefs that fuel unhappiness with beliefs that allow us to have insight, peace of mind and clarity of purpose, and, as well, to find common ground with others?
1) we additionally hold the belief that unhappiness is inevitable, not optional;
2) we think unhappiness is a sign of caring and intelligence: if I love him, of course, I’d be unhappy if he left; so would any intelligent person;
3) we anticipate change as a lengthy process (another self-fulfilling belief);
4) we are often convinced that we do not have the tools to unearth and then change our beliefs. In effect, we fail to meet the challenge and to change before we even get started.
But that’s not “bad” news; it’s great news. If we change the core “belief filters” through which we see the world, then we no longer create the unhappy consequences set forth above.
So, let’s make a quick new start. Let’s understand that:
1) unhappiness is not inevitable, but a choice, just like happiness;
2) being happy doesn’t mean we don’t care or are “happy idiots” being happy just means we can find the lesson, learning, and inner wisdom contained in every event we experience;
3) no one knows better about me than I do, so, if I simply start consulting myself, I can find my own answers as to why I am unhappy in any situation, and
4) I can change quickly and easily if I CHOOSE to.
~”Bears” Barry Neil Kaufman