Our Principles
Fundamental Principles of The Option Process®
We’ve been educated (or mis-educated) about how life works and how we work, and this education has made life a lot harder than it needs to be. Our principles mark the beginning of a new education. They may be the opposite of everything you’ve ever been taught, but they are the key to giving you the life experience you’ve always wanted.
Happiness is a choice
Though many of us speak as if our emotions happen to us, we believe that they are responses we choose in an effort to take care of ourselves. Misery, fear, anger, distress, and discomfort are optional, not inevitable. We can show you how to make emotional choices that enhance, rather than detract from, your life experience.
You have your own answers
We live in a society that worships the opinions of others. We look for our answers from experts, institutions, the media, and the people around us – everyone but ourselves. We believe that you possess all of your own answers to the personal issues that mark your life. We can teach you to access and rely upon your own internal insight.
Everything we feel, say, and do has a chosen belief which fuels it
Because our beliefs are ultimately chosen, we can help you to examine and then re-choose beliefs which support the emotions, actions, and life experience that you desire.
Being non-judgmental is powerful, not passive
Most of us see making judgments (“that’s terrible,” “he’s mean”) as critical to our moral compass and our ability to take decisive action. However, we see judgments as leading to discomfort, anger, clouded perceptions, and muddled decision-making. We help you learn to drop judgments, thus increasing your focus, power, and decisiveness, as well as your ability to be joyful and caring. In fact, this is a key element of our teaching style, so you can count on being helped, respected, and cared for without judgment or condemnation – no matter what.
Self-criticism and self-doubt may be “normal” (as in “usual”) but they aren’t “natural” (as in “a necessary part of the human condition”)
You are not condemned to live the rest of your life thinking that you are not good enough, that something is wrong with you, that you are not whole, that you are not okay as you are. These are learned beliefs, and we can teach you different, more self-supportive ones. Why? Because we don’t believe that anything is wrong with you, and we do believe that you are okay just the way you are.
We aren’t the victims we’re taught to be
At every turn, most of us are treated as though we are victims – of our genes, or our upbringing, or our subconscious, or outside events. We have specific self-empowering strategies to enable you to capitalize on your own ultimate capability to be your own life architect in every circumstance.
Authenticity, not people-pleasing, builds close relationships and safety
Throughout our lives, we are taught to say what people want to hear, to mask our true selves and to focus on who we should be rather than being who we sincerely are. Most of us see this as safe – and crucial to maintaining our relationships. At The Option Institute, we see personal authenticity and honesty as the key to feeling safe (because you don’t have to live in fear of being “found out”) and creating close, meaningful relationships (because each person can know and love the other for who they really are). We don’t want you to have to hide who you are anymore.
Changing the way you see things changes everything
Most of us think that events in our lives are inherently good or bad, and we can only hope for more good than bad. We put you back in the driver’s seat by giving you tools to change your point of view about life events. We have seen, over and over again, that learning to change your perspective on external occurrences changes your entire internal experience – which then changes how you deal with external occurrences. In other words: change one thing, and everything changes.
Making A Difference
Imagine that being ‘a force of nature’ is not destiny but an act of conscious design. Imagine the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is not about genetics or circumstances but about how ‘big’ you show up for yourself and others. Actually, stop imagining and learn the steps to take you to the top of your personal mountain – in personal growth, in relationships, in your career, in your spiritual life … as well as in the lives of others.
Click here for a brief explanation of The Option Process® Dialogue: The ultimate system for personal change.
